It’s a Saturday night and you and your better half are just parking up at your friends’ house for an evening to socialise, consume and unwind. That’s what we humans like to do (unless you’re me and writing this article right now, you have no friends and are binge watching Netflix or you got “kids”).

So you knock on the front door and are greeted with delight and joy. Another human being is happy to see you. Maybe you hug, kiss or shake hands and with that primordial touch, a bout of oxytocin and serotonin is shot into your bloodstream making you gooey inside. OK perhaps I’m exaggerating a little, but that’s what’s going on. But it doesn’t stop there does it? No, no. Perhaps, you now produce from thin air, like the devious magician you are, a bunch of flowers, a box of pristinely, and dare I say, supermarket-wrapped chocolates or, if you’re feeling especially gregarious, a bottle of your finest red.

Your dear friends then take your coats from your backs, and invite you into the kitchen where they’re finishing off the final touches to the meal you’re about to enjoy together. A friend turns to you and offers you a selection of drinks or perhaps you uncork the bottle you’ve just brought over. The other friend generously points you in the direction of a few select snacks to appease your burgeoning appetite just before the main event: a bowl of nuts, a branch of olives or a Sombrero hat filled with Los Nachos Mexicanos. Conversation and laughter ensues. Perhaps, you offer to help mix the salad, left to be prepared at the last minute, not because your friends were procrastinating or poor time-managers, but so that it could be served freshly and bearing no signs of sogginess. The whole thing is charming and delightful.

The meal is delicious, the efforts don’t go unappreciated and the conversation and wine are more flowing than you could have imagined. You’re full but then you realise you have a second stomach once the dessert selection is brought out – an unexpected treat. You make a comment about yours, or if you’re feeling daring, your partner’s weight in what you deem to be an appropriate dinner-table joke. Politeness also assures you laughter ensues.

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OK, so I had a lot of fun writing that! But my point is this: in this story, you see a lot of giving with no expectation and natural exchanges of value: you see your guests lead with hospitality, choice, charm and unexpected treats throughout your time at their house. This is how your service or business should be run. A meal served for a guest is one of the oldest social activities around and so human beings have perfected the art form. Yet, when it comes to business, this often doesn’t happen – or it happens in a way that’s too common to be truly appreciated. Master the art of giving unexpected value – when your clients come to your website, or have a meeting with you, make sure they’re leaving with some of your unique knowledge, insight, conversation or entertainment that will stick with them and change their life even if it’s by 1%. Don’t hold back. Don’t just sell. Be memorable: lead with value.

– O